I am recovering from an illness that although is clinically cured, still plagues me.
On Jan 16 I called in sick from work. It was nothing serious, some bug going around. Everyone at home had come down with a cold recently and had gotten over it. So, it was my turn. Only my turn was more than a cold. My symptoms got worse. On Jan 19 my husband took me to the ER. My O2 saturation was 66 percent and I was cyanotic, had strep sepsis in my blood, sputum and urine as well as bilateral pneumonia and ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome). I was intubated and put in ICU. My chances were 50-50 at the time, or so my husband related to me later.
Thankfully, things turned around and I was discharged from the hospital just about a month later (on Feb 14). It’s now nearly a month more (March) and I still suffer from paraesthesia in my bilateral ring and pinky fingers. I have flashbacks, anxieties and night terrors from ICU psychosis. My pneumonia is cured although I still am on oxygen and nebulizers.
I am here, however, to ‘tell the tale’ so to speak. Don’t worry, I am not going to get cliche, quote famous dead people or spout platitudes about rainbows and sunshine.
I can tell you though, that honestly – through and through – literally, my entire being has shifted, just a little, from where it once was. Every. Single. Thing. Is different. Just a little.
I am not looking for sympathy and please do not misunderstand, it is not attention that I seek but rather conversation. Have you experienced similar? Reach out. Be well and thanks.
We want to leave our mark on the world. Have you thought about it? Have you thought about how? Will you write a novel, poem or lyrics? Will you work to make a difference and bring about change. How do you want to be remembered? We all want to leave our mark. The mark that says, “I was here.”
Does your mark need to be known by the world? Or do you find accomplishment requires no audience?
You can leave your mark with no fanfare. Yet it will stand the test of time.
Find a river rock or a flat stone in a stream and carve your initials into it. Toss it back into the water. Imagine the stone flowing with the current, miles and miles until it finds its resting place… perhaps deep in the sea.
Plant a tree. A tiny seed in a hole. Place with the seed a piece of paper with your initials. The paper will biodegrade and become part of the ecosystem. Your intent will remain. Imagine that tree growing 20 or 40 feet or higher; the lives it will see, protect, care for and sustain.
Humans have already done too much harm and destruction so whatever way you come up with to leave your mark on this glorious place we call home, please do so with good intent.
In the silence there is much to hear. Much to learn. Much to observe. Sabats and esbats pass, “time marches on”… and we are approaching Imbolc once again. This may not mean something to everyone and yet everyone anticipates the coming of springtime when the earth wakes from slumber – relevance, of course, based on geography. Clearly agriculture based, the wheel of the year celebrates the harvests and bounty from that standpoint and once you begin to participate in it (not just observe it), the wheel comes alive with more meaning, learning and growth – literally and metaphorically. For those of us that get our hands in the dirt, dry herbs, preserve food and have made those connections, the wheel not only marks time but it is a symbol of what is next… what to plan, what to look forward to and how to prepare. The window dressings vary from belief to belief but the commonality connects us more than divides us. Be still and listen. The earth is singing.
Every Wednesday evening just after dusk my family has a campfire on our property. Neighbors and friends sometimes stop by to share the light, warmth and friendship. We have decided to open our fire circles to others and would like to invite you.
We occasionally dine by the firelight so feel free to bring your own drink or food if you feel inclined… or not. The only thing we ask of those who attend is an open mind. Enjoy the warmth. The light. The peace. Turn off your phone. Conversation is optional but we do hope to share in some inspirational and thought provoking discussion.
Unplug from everything else and join our open fire circle us if you’re in the area. We’d love to meet you. Share in the warmth and the light. No words required.
The weather is turning cooler so dress appropriately. We do not have fire circles during inclement weather.
If you’re interested in joining us, send me a message via twitter.